Guilt and resentment are two completely unnecessary emotions that so many of us experience every day.  In some ways we want to justify our discomfort or irritation with past events and recognize mistakes through these emotions.  But they serve no useful purpose. 

With the new year approaching we need to learn to forgive ourselves and others.  Forgiveness is so powerful, yet few people really understand how amazing forgiveness can be.  Relationships are torn apart by resentment and sometimes never heal.

Yes, anger has its place and using it to drive productive conversations can sometimes work, but the key is being productive.  Screaming, yelling, or constantly reminding someone they have hurt you is not productive at all.  It keeps your relationship in the past, in a time of hurt, and prevents it from healing and moving forward.  Resentment and guilt are anchors to pain. 

Forgiveness, as easy as it may sound, it rarely so.  Although it can take years to forgive someone for a painful act, it is well worth it.  Although individuals generally like to know they are forgiven, this act is more to help you heal than anything else.  By forgiving someone you allow yourself to open up to other emotional healing.  You come to terms with the past, recognize that it is in the past, and begin to move forward with your life in better directions.

Why talk about this now?  It’s the holidays and family time has a tendency to bring out the best and the worst in all of us.  Tis the season to bicker, but it’s also the start of a new year and a new beginning for better, more loving, relationships. 

Happy Holidays.