There are many articles written about how to survive cancer. However, they are almost all geared towards the individual who has been diagnosed. Yet – cancer doesn’t just affect the one struggling with the disease – it affects spouses, children, parents, family and friends.Sometimes – being the loved one supporting a cancer patient can be extremely difficult. The loved one feels helpless and ineffective in addition to being scared, angry and confused. The emotions and information available can be overwhelming.

The loved one has no choice but to cope somehow. After speaking with the family and friends of those who were diagnosed with cancer, here is a compilation of tips to help everyone cope more effectively.

• Keep the lines of communication open with the patient. Don’t just assume that the patient wants a parade of visitors or to be left alone. Ask him if he wants visitors and which days might be best for friends to drop by. Ask what his needs are – perhaps he needs a ride to the doctor’s office or some warm socks – after all – hospital floors are notoriously cold!
  
• Do as much research as possible on the disease and treatment options. Find out everything about the disease, the standard treatments and the survival rates. No matter how desperate you are, do not start proposing those untested “alternative” treatments. The patient really doesn’t need to hear that an all-carrot diet worked for someone in a third world country. If the patient is interested in some alternative therapies, look for those options that are tried and true. Options that, at a minimum, can help alleviate the side effects include acupuncture, basic healthy eating plans and yoga.
  
• Talk it out. Find someone you can depend on as your support system. In addition, the hospital or treatment center will have lists of support groups. These are great as those in the group completely understand what you are going through and can offer advice or just a shoulder to cry on.
  
• Take it a day at a time. Or – perhaps even an hour at a time if a day seems overwhelming. Focus on one thing at a time and don’t let your mind wander too far in the future. We can only affect what is happening right now. We can’t change the past and we have no power to make the future get here quicker or slower, so keep your mind in the moment and do what you can within your limitations.
  
• Find humor and comfort wherever you can.Celebrate the successes – no matter how small. Be friendly with the nursing staff and the cleaning crew. Look for beauty where you can.Cancer can be very debilitating and depressing, not just for the patient but for those who are close to the patient. So – find ways to level the emotional playing field as much as possible.

Being the support system for a loved one with cancer is certainly no picnic. Don’t assume you have to be superman to be a good support system – in fact – the more human you are, the more helpful you can be. Don’t be afraid to ask for help for yourself when life becomes too overwhelming and be sure to take care of yourself. You can’t do the cancer patient much good if you’re making yourself sick or wearing yourself out.

Above all – keep talking. Let the patient talk to you about his feelings and let yourself talk to others about your feelings. Find a support system and use it!Take things a day at a time and you can make it!