For some of us, this question arises as early as age 11 or 12 when we begin to make decisions that shape our education.  A counselor may sit with you and ask whether you’d rather take music or computer programming.  When you respond with the statement “I don’t know”, they respond with “Well, what do you want to do when you grow up?” 

For the rest of us, this question usually surfaces for the first time in high school or college when we have even more control over choices that might shape our future.  Somehow teachers, parents and counselors, as great as their intentions may be, convince us that we need to know NOW because, according to them, these decisions determine our future career.

What they don’t tell you is that it’s perfectly normal not to know.  In fact, most people don’t know much about their true passions until they’re at least 30, having spent years jumping from job to job trying desperately to find fulfillment.  Many live well into their 40s and 50s still trying to find that elusive passion. 

Although the decisions you make in high school (grades, clubs, sports, activities) can ultimately affect your college education, they do not define you.  Life is about experimenting, learning, and trying new things.  Life does not stop after high school.  You will always have the power to change your life. 

So, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?  Don’t panic, you don’t need to have an answer, but if you’re looking for one, the best place to start is with your head.  Consider a few things:

• What do you do that makes you proud?
• In what activities do you find yourself engaged every day that have nothing to do with obligatory tasks?
• What activities make you lose time? 

What makes your proud? – A lot of people can’t answer this question.  Many, many people cannot identify what brings them joy and pride.  Most people simply work and reminisce about a time when they enjoyed life more than they do now.  Doing things that instill self-pride is VERY important.  Pride in your accomplishments is key to enjoying life and repeating pleasurable activities. 

Keep in mind, I’m not asking you to identify other people or your religious affiliation.  This question is not geared towards identity.  What actual physical activities do you do that leave you with a feeling of pride?  Did you build a shed with your grandfather?  Do you actively engage in volunteer work at the local nursing home?  Did you program your mother’s computer?  If you don’t have an answer for this question, you aren’t alone. 

So what do you do?  Start branching out, try new things, take new classes at local colleges or museums.  Try cooking, volunteer for animal therapy, take an online course in XML, or build a birdhouse.  Sometimes hobbies in which you’re already engaged can be a good start. 

What do you do every day that brings you joy? – This goes back to hobbies but incorporates more subtle aspects of your life.  You may already do things that provide you with a deep sense of joy.  Some people read political articles every day, others may find themselves writing in journals while still others might love discovering new board games.  If you identify these small things, you can begin to enrich those activities and perhaps branch out. 

For example, if you like political commentary, maybe you could volunteer for the next campaign and see if you like that.  Or, you may find that it wasn’t necessary the politics you enjoyed, but the actual style of verse in which the author wrote the commentary.  Take a writing course or start writing a political blog. 

What makes you lose time? – This goes into everyday activities.  If you find that you lose time when you garden, perhaps you should get a weekend job with a local garden store and start to narrow your focus. 

There is no rush.  Loving the process is part of the key.  Learning to discover yourself is part of determining your place in this world.  But the key is loving what you do.  You may not love every part of your job, but if you feel fulfilled and proud, you’re probably in the right place.

And stop comparing yourself to everyone else!  Most people love parts of their jobs, but few actually love their career until they discover that they have choices.  So follow your heart and your gut.  Let others give you their opinions, but keep in mind that the decision is ultimately your own.  You will inevitably run into challenges and roadblocks, but if you are persistent, you can achieve anything.

Take a chance.  Never ask why, ask why not.